When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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