what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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