The maid of honor just puked.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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