So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
