Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
