More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
