Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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