considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
