All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
