I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
