she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
