its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
