Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
