Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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