hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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