After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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