Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
