also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
