her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
