I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize