I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
