If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
