Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Randomize
