They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
