yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
