is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
