i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
