she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
