New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize