Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize