Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
