in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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