Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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