i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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