I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
