I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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