Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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