I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
