so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
