We're like a lot better than the average bears
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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