i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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