i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
