did you get engaged???
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
