JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
