i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
