if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize