btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
