Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
