Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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