She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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