it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
