I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
