Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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