According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
