So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
