Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
BRING THE BAGELS
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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