Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
