It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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