we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
