PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
