I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize