i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
