You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
