I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
