I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
