I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize
