You're completely useless in the revolution.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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