Whod you bang
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
