Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We left the knife in your bed.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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