On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
